There a hole in my heart. I know it.

Secretly I blog but in my head. I know it sounds insane and rather schizophrenic but I do it.
My head will start typing out about almost everything. etc. A cute guy to my bad day at work.
Maybe that why I seem to hardly blog here. Sorry guys:(


I just feeling upset this few weeks because I haven't been able to talk to my dad since he left for his Hajj(pilgrimage). I wasn`t able to talk to him much before he left too. I only managed to hug him and say'have a safe trip'. I didn't get to say'forgive me for all my sins' or 'come back safely'.
In a way I regretted that. I don't usually regret about anything. I not blaming my mom or anything for giving me such a tiny moment to bid farewell to my dad.


My mom just shoved me to the side and hugged my dad. Streams of tears damped her cheeks.
Her face was red. From that second on, I realised she needed that moment longer than I do.
However, my mind isn't at peace since it he left. I kept wondering'what is he doing now?' or maybe 'will he come back?' (not that I think my dad will die or anything)

I guess I can only wait for that phone call. I am more than willing to sleep by the phone just to talk to my dad again. Stupid work. If I didnt have to work I be able to talk to him the other day.
The flood in Jeddah is so not easing my worries about my dad whereabouts.


I can only pray and wait...